Who do you think is a married woman?

One day, Jacky was strolling along cafe that also sell ice cream with John.
He saw a three pretty lady with an hourly shape figure buying ice cream.

He noticed that first lady is licking the ice-cream, the second lady is sucking the ice-cream and the third lady is biting the ice-cream.

So he asks John, one question.
Who do you think is a married woman?

John, after thinking a while.... he answer the one biting.

Jacky shook his head.... and tell him... "No"

It it the lady with the ring on her finger.

2 Nuns and a Blind Man

A long time ago, there was two nun, who just join in a new monastery.
The administrator of the monastery summoned the two nuns. She asked them to start work
immediately, and they were given the task to paint and old room, where they are going to be house permanently.
So, with two pail of paints and brushes, they were directed to the room and started their painting work.
As the paint along, the roller paint drips some paint onto their robes. The paint on the robes is difficult to be washed away. So, one of the nun suggested, since they are in the room and and they could lock up the door, why don't take out the robes and then paint nakedly. Hence, both of them took out their robes and underwears and started painting nakedly.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door. "Who's there?" asked one of the nuns. "I am a blind man." Both of the nun, talked for a while, and were considering whether to open the door or not. As it is cumbersome, to put on the robe again, and then open the door. "Since he is blind, he could not see, why not let him in." said the other nun. After few deliberations, they decided to let the blind man in. The man came in and said to the nun " What beautiful bodies both of you got there, dear sister" He then went straight to the window and set his work to install the blind onto the window.

Chinese Bollywood

There was an man with Indian origin went to China for some work. As he don't speak the language, he relied on his Chinese friend who speak English to him, most of the time to do translation when buying things. One day, they went to a DVD shop,  the shop owner on seeing the man, immediately recommend Bollywood DVD to him. Thanks through his Chinese friend, he was able to get a bargain of 30% discount price down. He was so happy, because he bought 5 of the Bollywood DVD, eagerly wanted to show to his sons, daughter & friends regarding the Bollywood show that he watched while he was a teenager. He went back to his country. One fine day, he setup his DVD player, as he was excited about the Bollywood DVD he had bought, he called up and round up his friends, sons and daughters to watch the DVD. Once the play button was touched, the show began, all of them was eagerly waiting for the show to roll-on. As the movie start, the Bollywood actor and actresses start to converse in a language that they never understood. The Bollywood Indian actor and actresses was talking in Chinese.While, now technology is advanced, that you could switch to different speaking language to watch the show, however they could not switch to the language. It is still in Chinese.  Boy, what a big dissapointment for the whole gang, who could not understand a single word of Chinese. Never mind, the man say that for sure during singing time, the actor will sing in Indian language. Oh boy, oh boy, they were even more surprised that even the singing session is even sang in Chinese language. So, this is the first Chinese Bollywood show in the world they had ever watched.

China girls

I once met a lady friend, and she asked me how am I. I said "fine". "How's work?" she asked. I replied "Not so ok, as company plan to shift operation to China. She then asked, "Are you going?". I said "Maybe". Then, your wife must follow you. I asked her why. She said, "China had a lot of pretty girls, most of you guys will be attracted to these ladies." Then I asked her" If it is your husband who is going to be posted to China, why could't you trust him" She replied, "I do trust my husband, but however I do not trust the women there"

Yeah On Training!, Interesting jokes to share.

Today, I went for a training, and I have something to lighten us up, and I gather something at the end of day. Some interesting jokes that I had gathered from the training and I wish to blog it down, so that I will not forget.

Joke #1
There was this Panda, who went to the restaurant. On seeing the Panda came in, the boss, was delighted and never had Panda visited his premises. He thought he could used the Panda visit as a publicity to boost his business. He approached the Panda, greeted him and then sit him to a table. He told the Panda, "Hi Panda, I never had a visitor of your kind in my restaurant, so today everything will be on the house." The Panda then said "Well, good, I am damn hungry, as I had not eaten for days." The Panda went and order an enormous amount of food and dishes. The food was delivered on the table, and the Panda whack all of them. Then, he picked a machine gun and shoot every people in the restaurant. The owner who was in the kitchen came out and was aghast looking at the mess that Panda made. "Why do you do this, what have I do to you, I provide whatever food you wanted and yet you did this to me?. why, why why? cried the owner. The Panda replied " Go and look up at the dictionary for Panda" shouted the Panda. The owner quickly went and found one dictionary, and frantically flipped to the index page of P to find Panda. The dictionary highlighted :
Panda -> An animal that eat shoots and leaves.

Jokes #2
A man was walking a dog on the park. As he walked in the park, another man came and stop in front of him. He asked "What are you doing with this fat pig?" The owner of the dog was furious as he loved his dog very much and he replied "No, can't you see, this is not a pig, and he is a dog and he isn't fat."
The other man replied to him "I am not talking to you, I am talking to the dog"

Do you any jokes you would like to share, I welcome all jokes but not dirty jokes, please.

Doctor got a lot of admirers

Today, I was carpooling with my partners. One of them was a US postgraduate from a reputable top US university, Dr. Moon (not a medical one). So, he mentioned about a guy who graduated with two majors in PhD at the age of 28. "Wow, what a smart person he is", I replied. Dr. Moon said "Oh yes, he is Now, he held a top position in our country as an adviser to the president, that PhD guy, even went on TV, lately." Dr. Moon mentioned also that the anchor lady who interviewed him, seems to display a lot of interest to the PhD guy, while interviewing him. I said, " Oh yes, Dr. Moon, a Dr. in this country also carry a heavyweight, and most of the ladys in this country also admire Dr." "If you don't believe, try it yourself, and I am sure you will sure attract a lot of admirers"
He was smiling and said that "Luckily, my wife is not around to hear this, or else I will be dead."

 

Asking for Direction

Today, I had a meeting with my boss, there is a project that needed a direction, on whether to spend and invest the money to prepare for the future needs, or to hold.
I make suggestion and proposal to invest the money first, as we know that that the successful implementation of the project will be our money earning machine, as we are phasing out old product that is not profitable any more. But, however, I was requested to supply justification, why need to spend this money, what is the buy back and all sort concerns. OK, I told him why we need to spend the money, addressing his concern, still no agreement on my directions. Then, I open up my mouth, and ask my boss, "Please show me the directions". I was blasted, by him, that I should provide him proposal and directions and not to ask him for directions. This is what I did a few moments ago, and resulted in a lot of justifications he asked that I already explained, which really made me don't know what to do. Thereafter, I ask for his directions, he asked me back for direction. Looks like, I am clown in his merry-go-round directions decision making.